- Me: *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
- Random Old Lady: *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
- ROL: Isn't he a little old for you?
- Me: Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
- Dad: *chokes into his drink*
- ROL: You should respect your elders.
- Me: You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
- Dad: *chokes on his drink again*
- ROL: *storms off*
- Dad: *looks at me with a disapproving look*
- Me: What?
- Dad: Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.
"Good people are like candles; they burn themselves up to give others light."
Turkish Proverb (via catic)
"I love Vin Diesel. On top of just being one of my best friends, if not THE best friend, one of the only people on the planet who actually understands my innocence, this man cares to dream when people forget to dream (…) You always treated me like a queen, man. And you know what? To the death. I will always, always cherish our friendship. You are a great man (…) And that’s why I love this man to my grave." - Michelle Rodriguez
"Breathe. It’s only a bad day, not a bad life."
Johnny Depp (via enemaroberts)
i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?
my anaconda don’t want none unless you’re an Australian punk rocker who wears women’s skinny jeans
do not think about your crush in an old sweatshirt with scruffy hair and a sleepy smile ok dont think about them humming to themselves as they make breakfast in this attire ok dont think about how the light hits them as they sit down across from you and eat breakfast ok just dONT
"wow! who taught you to do your makeup like that?"
"wow! who taught you how to make that?"
"wow! who taught you-"
why do you know so much about sex
why are you so calm about porn
Why do you know so much about murdering people